Heartbroken

[River]

Meanwhile, Briar had pulled a tiny razorblade, wrapped in a cardboard sleeve, out of her pocket. She slid up her shirt, gazing for a moment at the angry red scars that marked her smooth, pale skin. Some were recent, some were very, very old. She looked at them for a moment, hating that she was one of "those kids", but not knowing how else to relieve herself of the pain that overwhelmed her to the point of insanity. Tears still sliding down her cheeks, she pressed the razorblade against the soft skin of her stomach, sliding it to create another red mark, just below the others. The blade brought a sharp, burning pain, which also brought relief. She had never been able to figure out why this worked, but it did, so she kept doing it. The blood welled, and she made another cut, the sting once again magically pushing away her emotional torture. She grabbed a wad of toilet paper to stop the bleeding, and slid the blade back into it's cover, then into her pocket. Her tears subsided, and she sat curled up on the toilet, hugging her knees to her chest, and pressing toilet paper against her bleeding cuts. Once they stopped bleeding, she let her shirt fall over them and shoved the bloody tissue to the bottom of the can. Still sitting on top of the toilet seat, hugging her knees, she reached over and unlocked the bathroom door.

[Velareksil]

Taihphel closed his eyes at the sound of the lock clicking. His being failed him, his voice failed him, but all this was for but a moment, his nails almost ran down the door, but he stopped them upon contact, just an unnoticeable moment of hesitation as his spirit calmed. He touched the doorknob with a soft hand, another vague moment passed as his being found the strength, he turned it, and his heart somehow found an innermost, soft and smooth rhythmical pace, those short passings of tension within and outside of him were over. When he entered he didn't question his sister, he did nothing but take her into his arms and lift her off the unsightly seat. He had only a slight understanding as to what went on without him, but he put it away, making it as if he knew nothing.

As he settled his distressed sister onto the bed he pressed her into his arms, softly and swiftly in one smooth motion. He knew nothing and so he said nothing.

[River]

Briar curled up in his arms, crying softly. Then, as always, the dreaded buzzing filled her ears. "Goddamnit...Tai..." she broke off as she had her seizure, her body tensing, shuddering in his arms as her muscle contracted over, and over, and over again. Her shirt slid up slightly to reveal her scars, but she didn't notice. She wasn't unconcious for long, only a minute or two, before she regained conciousness. Shaking all over, she crawled into her big brother's arms, tears streaming down her face.

((Keep in mind that the seizures are something Tai would be used to.))

[Velareksil]

((I know I know, but my mind is still running around like a bug beneath a human foot.))

Taihphel held his sister tightly, wishing he could bring just a bit of kindness into her life, wishing he could take her world upon his shoulders and set her free. But he already knew, wishes and dreams, they were pleasant, they kept the being running amok beneath the heavens, reaching, aiming, never touching. He knew the chaos, the trouble, and yet he still saw the beautiful world. Something about it was a kind of beauty in itself to him. He disliked forcing his ideals upon other people, but for now, it was something he had to do, just once. With that thought he spoke, "there's no time, you're both at your limits. I'm sorry I have to bring this up so soon after all that's already gone on. But there's still a kind of love, and I can't allow for it to be broken, not after so long without such a love. I know, I know why it is that this came about, I can at least understand, even if it's just a little, what you're acting on. But you've both bared witness to one another's weakness, have you not? You've both found something beautiful in one another, or am I wrong? These weaknesses give way to foolish actions, that's the only way I can even think to explain it if I must. Nevertheless if these tears are continually shed..." another tick of a clock, another second of hesitation, "no, I cannot let you shed them, I cannot. It's something I cannot and will not allow for you to do. If you cannot bring yourself to hold her in more then just memory, then, even those memories you must release. If you cannot release those memories, then there is still love. If there is still love, if there is still longing, I can assure you it is still returned. My beloved sister, I promise you that if you seek that return, you both do. I cannot ask you to forget, I cannot ask you to forgive, but I must ask you to continue. Even if the future seems bleak, there's a light somewhere that makes it appear as such. Seek it out, and if you so desire, this time I will follow you through to the end of the tunnel." He said, he could think of nothing more, he wanted to take her hand and walk her along, he wanted to more then anything, but something held him yet, "I'm sorry," he whispered beneath his breath as he held his sister tightly with strong arms, bracing for anything to come.

[River]

Briar let herself be held like a child, feeling secure and safe in his arms. "You want me to just forget that she cheated on me?" she whispered, her voice broken and pain-filled.

[Velareksil]

"I want you to forget nothing, I won't ask you to forgive anything. But there is still something that binds, a kind something that binds. There is a blade, cutting away slowly, but if you two could only bare it, just a little longer, there's no time left for me to help you sort out your mind," Taihphel shook his head, he wasn't ready to forfeit, there was too much on the line for him to just withdraw, for him to retreat, there was something wrong, something dangerously wrong, "I want you to continue, I long that you may pass it, that dark abyss, nothing can fill an oblivion I know, but I want you to find your way, around it, no matter how long it takes, I want you to continue to stand, to continue to walk, to continue to let a light guide you, or to let that love guide you just one more time, let it carry you over on wings and maybe see a brighter other side, maybe a gentler kindness, and maybe one day...you'll look back at the mountain you passed, and feel stronger from it," he closed his eyes for a moment, pushing his sister's head gently into his chest such that she wouldn't have to see his longing eyes as he thought to himself I want to guide you around that emptiness, I want to light your path, I want to take your head and let you look upward into the sky such that you could see it's kind and gentle smile as it looked down upon us beings, but this isn't about me, is it? If your life bent to my wishes, then you'd of found deep and loyal love so long ago, after all, he smiled, softly, before continuing, "I know it hurts you, even I can tell that much, but you can't give way now, not yet. There's still something there, and I cannot let you stop until it's faded, this much I know. You can tell she regrets it, don't fuel the pain of regret, or else maybe it'll return to you one day, maybe it'll tear apart not one, but two. I can't let that happen," he whispered softly, "don't break the one you love because she traveled the wrong path. She spoke to you, did she not? She cried, did she not? There is still a love directed toward you, a loyalty, and a weakness, all of which is in this world, all of which can be done, all of which you must one day try to understand, please don't turn it away. I'm still here, I'm sorry that I'm asking you to give this chance, but if there's something beyond the horizon, and if it's something you still strive for, then reach out, and maybe you'll let me set out your path, and maybe later, whenever you need me to, I'll set your path." He finished, not knowing what more he could possibly say, what more he could possibly do, and whispered one more time, "I'm sorry, but that's all that I can do."

[River]

Briar shivered, listening with only half of her brain. Exhausted, she quietly fell asleep in his arms.

Zack paced down the hallway of his dorm, passing his room, to stop at the room just across the hall. He knocked softly, not wanting to disturb anyone.

((Tai, answer the door! xP))

[Velareksil]

"It's open," he said, as he thought to himself, though I should make a habit of locking it. he ran his fingers softly through his sister's hair, not knowing what to do next. He didn't want to wake her, but a horrid feeling still taunted him.

((short post, lol <fail>))

[River]

Zack slipped inside the room and saw Briar curled up in Tai's arms looking very small, her face pale and tearstained. She appeared to be asleep. "Umm, Tai? Yeah, I need to talk to you for a sec...Is she gonna wake up?"

((By the way, Briar is soundly asleep and will not wake up because I say it shall be so. xP))

[Velareksil]

((this is where I throw my arms into the air and at the same time brace myself))

Taihphel looked up, his dark eyes analyzed the new comer but caught nothing, so he gave up. Letting out a soft sigh, he cupped a hand over his sister's ear while pushing the other against his being, he held her with gentle arms as he replied, "it's better to let the tired rest for awhile, what is it?" he asked, his voice still calm.

[River]

"Umm...her girlfriend just tried to kill herself...she slit her wrists in the bathroom and lost a lot of blood. She was still alive when the paramedics got here, but...I don't know what's going to happen. I imagine she'll make it, but..." Zack tapered off, looking uncomfortable. "I wasn't sure whether I should tell Briar, so I told you instead."

[Velareksil]

Taihphel gave a slight grimace at the thought of blood, he lost his grip on his sister for a moment, he was afraid, deathly afraid. Too much had gone on, too much of life's substance had made it's way inside, the walls, the floor, tainted the places where the rain could not reach, where there was no purification. He disliked it, he disliked it greatly. But such thoughts passed through him as swiftly as a ghost of a moment, sending a shiver down his spine, but nothing more. He recovered quickly and found his grasp on his sister once again, looking down upon her, if she cries again, that's the third strike, he thought to himself. "What is there left for me to do?" he asked himself in a quiet voice, only vaguely aware he had spoken, he cursed softly under his breath before regaining his mental composure entirely. He looked up at the man before him, and gave a comforting smile, picking his word as he always had, "that's something I can't keep away from her, you should know that, it's going too far when a wall of love protecting against pain becomes a thick cement that towers over reality. Maybe, just maybe if she finds the power of regret from love, it'll put them on the right track once more. But for the time being, not much can be done. I take it you, also, had some part in this chaos, in which case I'd like to ask, what is it you plan to do right now?"

[River]

Zack nodded calmly. He knew Tai could take care of his sister. "I am honestly not sure what I plan to do...I'm not sure there is anything I can do for the timebeing. This is not my battle to fight. What about you? What do you plan to do?"